


Headlights

by Fairy (laterie)



Series: KINGS [2]
Category: GOT7
Genre: Depression dealing, Husbands, M/M, The love here is all that matters, a slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:49:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21860101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laterie/pseuds/Fairy
Summary: “Why are you lying to me?” Mark looked at him with hurt, “what’s the point, sweetheart?”
Relationships: Mark Tuan/Jackson Wang
Series: KINGS [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1569673
Comments: 3
Kudos: 87





	Headlights

**Author's Note:**

> Ready, steady, go!

Jackson was staring into a wall, his hands gripping his phone. It’s been fifteen minutes since Mark called him _jealous._ There was a pause, but Jackson knew a word was missing in the sentence when Mark finished it _._ So, well _yeah_ , that was Kayee Tuan which married Mark three months ago. _Nothing lasts forever_ , they say, and they’re right. The honeymoon didn’t even start, and yet Jackson felt like they finished. The big knot in the throat felt strange, which forced Jackson to do nothing because he felt like even a slight move would destroy everything they have.

Sincerely, Mark could be more sensitive after three months of marriage and four years of a relationship. Jinyoung promised him that he would take Mark's care while being in China to promote his new album. When Jackson came back home with his bags full of dirty laundry, he didn’t expect Jinyoung to be sprawled on Mark’s thighs while they were watching a movie. Jackson dropped his bags, throw his keys on the table, and asked Jinyoung if he has the time of his life lying on his husband’s lap. Without a word, Jinyoung lifted himself and moved across the whole couch on the other side with a spiky _happy now?_

It only provoked a dry laugh from Jackson. He was in no mood to deal with Jinyoung.

Asking Jinyoung to take care of Mark was the same as serving his husband on a silver plate, but at the same time, there was no one better than Jinyoung.

And so, he kept suffering.

Taking his shoes off, Jackson murmured something about _being tired as fuck._ He hung his jacket and slowly stalked right after his husband. He dropped on the couch, leaning against Mark’s shoulder, and inhaled his fragrance deeply.

“Missed you,” Jackson kissed his shoulder through the thin shirt.

“I know,” Mark cheekily smiled before he dipped his head and kissed Jackson on the corner of his mouth, “you should’ve called though before coming, I would’ve sent Jinyoung home.”

“Why? Were you two doing something?” Jackson asked, his eyes half-closed.

“No,” Mark sighed, “got bored, so I called him to watch a movie.”

“Which part of the movie led him to lay on your lap?”

“I’m still here, and even though I don’t hear you, I know you’re plotting against me,” Jinyoung said, staring at them shamelessly.

“Sure, we do,” Jackson chuckled, rubbing his cheek against Mark’s shoulder, “send him away, babe, but gently. I’m afraid his soul wouldn’t survive if you kicked him away, angel Tuan.”

“You live off annoying me, don’t you?” Jinyoung rolled his eyes, “one slip of the tongue, and you won’t live me anymore.”

“Once?” Jackson turned his head to look at him, “you keep calling Yien _angel_ when you think nobody listens. But boy, I have my people to let me know.”

“You call Bam your _people?”_

“Now, really, the first thing you two do is fighting?” Mark asked, irritated, “I don’t get you two anymore. You used to be so close.”

“We are!” Jinyoung insisted, “it’s just that your husband here is a little bit jealous.”

“Jacks, seriously, did you set people spying on me?”

Jackson looked back at his husband, “no, it’s just a joke.”

“Seriously?” Jinyoung chuckled, “I’m going home. Don’t need to witness this.”

Jackson pulled away to sit correctly on the couch. Was there something he said? In which universe would Bam spying on Mark? That was such a stupid joke from his tired brain that not even Jackson remembered the source of that stupidity. Jinyoung called a short _night_ before he closed the door and left them alone. Mark put his legs down on the floor, which drown Jackson’s attention, and he immediately went after the source of all battles. Resting his head on Mark’s thighs, he closed his eyes. Mark’s fingers gently brushed over Jackson’s nape, and only this single touch almost put Jackson asleep.

“Missed you too,” Mark smiled before he buried his fingers in the brown strands of his husband’s hair, “I missed everything about you.”

Jackson hummed approvingly.

“How was work?”

“Fun, stressful, boring, and fulfilling.”

Mark fixed the hair behind Jackson’s ear and gently tugged it, “too tired to talk?”

“Kind of,” Jackson murmured.

The pause turned into silence, and silence turned into a tension that Jackson could feel under his body in Mark’s thighs and hands in his hair. Something bothered his husband, but Jackson wasn’t sure if he was in shape to support him.

“But I’m here to listen,” Jackson assured him.

Another hesitation from Mark’s side and then a sigh, “tell me the truth,” Mark ran his fingers through his husband’s hair, “did you set someone on spying on me or not?”

“I did not.” Jackson uttered, “why would I do that?”

“You tell me why Jinyoung reacted as he _knew_.”

“Because Bam texted me once and said that Jinyoung is all touchy around you.”

“And what Bam considers as _touchy,_ may I know?”

The season when Mark’s name couldn’t come through, his tongue was over, now husband was Mark, and Mark was just Mark and nothing else. The hot making out season slowly faded away in the hectic schedules. Since Jackson was in China and promoting, vivid memories rushed into his head – memories of Jinyoung kissing his husband, touching him, calling him _angel, handsome,_ and swearing to the lord he’s going to protect Mark from everyone.

“Look,” Jackson sighed tiredly, “Jinyoung is an amazing, cool guy, like a bro to me, but I don’t trust him with you.”

“So, that’s why you told him to take care of me while you’re gone like I’m some naïve starving virgin?”

 _Shit,_ well, things happen, and Jackson should’ve known better than trusting Jinyoung that he won’t sell him out to Mark in the first second. Jackson’s fingers dug into the soft pattern of Mark’s sweatpants before he lifted his body off Mark. He shifted to the side, facing Mark.

“No, I told him that I’m gonna be away for some time, so you two should hang out more.”

Transparent lies were all Jackson could make nowadays. He was so deep in love that no matter how hard he tried to have a secret or hide innocent things, his eyes betrayed him. Mark always _knew,_ and this time, it wasn’t different.

“Why are you lying to me?” Mark looked at him with hurt, “what’s the point, sweetheart?”

Closing his eyes, Jackson exhaled, ready for the execution. Three months and he couldn’t stop his insecurities from eating him alive. What an _asshole_ husband he was. Jackson was tired and cold, craving for his husband’s body heat and love. Nothing in the world seemed to be more relevant than burring himself into Mark’s warmth and fall asleep like that. But the world was too big for such a small soul as Jackson. Without a word, Jackson rested his head on Mark’s shoulder, and blindly found his left hand. Jackson ran his fingers over Mark’s wedding band before he laced their hands together. That was the moment when he should’ve said _sorry,_ but he couldn’t.

“Jealous…” Mark said, like a statement, without any emotion, “of Jinyoung? _Still_?”

Jackson couldn’t open his mouth because why should he react to something evident? After treating Mark with silence, even more, silence came between them. Mark undid their intertwined fingers, and when the coach lost the weight of his body, Jackson knew that Mark is mad at him. Tones of shit scared Jackson’s person but, neither of them was so real, like Mark being angry with him or leaving him for his jealous, stupid ass. Because when Jackson became jealous, he did _incredibly_ awful things, trying to pay Mark the same favor.

That was dangerous.

With a heavy sigh and a lot of remorse, Jackson pulled out his phone from his jeans' back pocket and wrote a message to Jinyoung: _sorry for being assbutt._ They texted each other for almost ten minutes before Jackson heard Mark turning the shower on and then off. He gripped his phone tightly, jaw flexing. He was restraining himself from jumping on his feet and ran straight to his husband’s arms. No words were needed to confirm what was legit.

“Gonna take a shower with me?” Mark called from the bathroom, “I won’t let you sleep with me while you smell like an airplane and peanuts.”

Jackson looked over his shoulder, only to see Mark walking towards him how _to hold a man on pins and needles_ that was Mark’s specialty. Still, after so many years, Jackson got nervous when Mark kneeled before him _like that_ and looked at him like _that,_ and Jackson couldn’t even compose a single word in his head because _like that_ was a whole new description of Mark Tuan.

“Please,” Mark placed his hands on his husband’s knees, “don’t send people over to watch me. You married _me,_ Jackson, for a reason. I crossed the world to become someone, and I stayed true to myself even when people pushed and pulled me. I’m still the same with you; no matter how much the world changes, I’m still _here._ ”

“Yeah,” Jackson rubbed his eyes, pretending the sparkle in his eyes was tiredness.

“I love you, and I love being in GOT7. I love what we have, and I won’t do a single thing risking losing any of that.”

Something strange possessed Jackson after Mark finished. He looked into his husband’s eyes to confirm that love is still there. Insecurity was Jackson’s middle name at this point, but Mark was like a boat that always shipped him securely home.

“You don’t want me to leave GOT7?” Jackson whispered.

“Why would you ask something like that?”

Jackson shrugged, nervously playing with his fingers, “some fans want me to.”

“Do _you_?”

Jackson shook his head and looked at the fluffy carpet under the couch he was sitting on. Fans' demands were dragging him around for two years – the crazy number of fans who were blaming Jackson for GOT7 lousy reputation or trying to persuade him to leave the band since he was _too good for GOT7._ Being between millstones was only pressing at the sensitive nerve, and often, Jackson found himself overthinking his decisions. He spent nights staring at his husband and fighting the feeling that he’s not good enough for Mark. 

“This matter with Hong Kong right now,” Jackson stilled, “I feel like I don’t belong anywhere.”

At that, Mark’s expression softened even more. _How impossible,_ Jackson thought as he caught a glimpse of Mark. What he’s done in the past life that he deserved such fortune in the shape of his husband? Jackson could still play all the cards, have a love-life, band, and solo simultaneously, but it was exhausting and taking every bit of his energy, crumpling his life into grains.

“You belong here with me,” Mark took his hands and gently squeezed them, “I’m your home.”

“I just want…” Jackson wept, “ _you…_ you know what.”

“My cry-baby…” Mark smiled lovingly, “come here. Let the other cry-baby to _hush_ you.”

What a pair they were. Jackson didn’t protest; he sank his whole existence into his husband’s body and let himself melt into love and affection. When Mark kissed him the first time, Jackson shivered, when another nib came, his shoulders dropped, and the third soft kiss started to lose his body's muscles. Mark released Jackson’s hands so he could cup his face and press himself closer to his body.

It didn’t matter _who_ Mark was as long as Mark loved him and gave him home. The concept of society was lost and faded away in the background. They will be forced to put down their wedding rings and pretend _again,_ but nothing from that mattered in the bubble Jackson created in his head.

If he should die right now, there was no better place on Earth than in his husband’s embrace.

“I love you,” Mark whispered between the kissed, “ _love you_ so much.”

Jackson gently squeezed his husband’s hands that were still holding his face, “I need you. I can’t go around not having you in my life.”

“We’re home, aren’t we?” Mark kissed him again, “ _together._ ”

Jackson didn’t want to say a word, but every time Mark was assuring him that everything is in order, he felt like there was something wrong going on between them. It was his jealousy telling nonsense all over again.

“I’m sorry I can’t be with you in Japan,” Jackson leaned against Mark’s soft hand and kissed his palm, “I’m sorry I’m never home, and I’m sorry for being this joke of a husband.”

“ _Hey,_ ” Mark forced his head up, “none of that. Look at me. Jackson, look at me.”

“I wish I met you in different circumstances,” Jackson looked into his eyes, “in a different life where I could give you everything you need.”

“Life is not about that,” Mark stroked his cheekbones with his thumbs, “don’t talk about money. I know you had it tough, but aren’t your parents still together? Despite the hardship, the lack of material things – they love each other dearly. We don’t need money or fame to be happy. Only each other.”

Jackson averted his eyes to the fireplace. He tried to remember every minute he spent there curled in his husband’s arms and every minute he longed for him while chasing his dream. Mark helped him to become who he was today. Each of the members owned part of his ass over the years.

“Let’s do what we love together. Don’t chase the lights, Gaga. It’s not worth it.”

 _Not worth what?_ Jackson wanted to ask, but all he could do was crying for some more and let himself come undone in the warmth of his lover. _Yeah,_ Jackson married Mark for a reason, and the reason was brighter than any lights out there – he married the warmest sun.

 _Slow down,_ Mark whispered before he kissed Jackson again, _you’re not a deer._

And indeed, Jackson was more than that.

He was Yien’s husband. 

**Author's Note:**

> What made me write canon verse was the fact that Mark and Jackson are oddly distanced. Discovering that Jackson was diagnosed with depression explained many things in the change of his behavior. You can see Mark being more considerate of his actions around Jackson (the same as the rest of GOT5). It got me, alright? How much they care for each other. The fact that Mark is still the same, always by Jack's side, patiently waiting, always paying him attention, never forgetting Jack's there... that's real love (no matter of the shape), and that love doesn't need to be shown through fanservice, because it's natural. 
> 
> So... thank you for reading. Comments and ♥ are very welcomed.


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